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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485507">Caecus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapsuleCrisis/pseuds/CapsuleCrisis'>CapsuleCrisis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU- Bad End, Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Dark Thoughts, Emotional Manipulation, Existential Crisis, Forced Fusion, M/M, Mind Break, Psychological Drama, Stolen Memories, Unrequited Love, Vegeta Is Having A Bad Time, exploration of Vegito Rosé concept, nothing sexually explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapsuleCrisis/pseuds/CapsuleCrisis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When sunlight is stripped away, the body aches for a source of warmth.</p><p>---<br/>Previously titled "Collapse"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Goku Black/Vegeta, Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Collapse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Special thanks to Fleuraison7 for the new title for this work and for all of your beautiful feedback!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Falling.</p><p>It felt so, so very much like falling. The sudden jerk, that heart-stopping, lurching drop, the moment before impact when neurons misfire and everything glows a little brighter. Time slows. Everything jumbles together. And yet, a resolute clarity settles in, one that comes with embracing the inevitably of a crash. The pressure, the hope of changing the rapid descent tapers away. Sweet smoke escaping the lungs. Water sluicing through desperately threaded fingers.</p><p>Uncontrollable.</p><p>The air rushes out. Jaws snap, brain ricocheting around in the skull, the fragile organ a frantic piston, jettisoning out all rational thought. Panic. Acceptance. A strange combination, but somehow the mind fails to recognize that the spirit is in absolute denial of the circumstance. There’s nothing left to fight.</p><p>Impact.</p><p>Vegeta always considered himself to be adept at flying. Falling, not being able to correct himself when thrown off course, well, that was just never an issue. Once, when he was learning to fly as a child, he fell straight out of the sky. The sting of his father’s disappointment hurt more than the broken bones. That was where that kind of mistake ended, thank you very much.</p><p>Falling, so to speak, wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. There had been plenty of times where he’d been hurled out of the sky in the wake of opponents who may have gotten the better of him, if only for a moment. But those were temporary. He would right himself eventually, and release hell untold upon whoever dared to knock him down.</p><p>This was different.</p><p>These false gods had sent him into a tailspin of sorts, and he didn’t know if he would be able to recover.</p><p>Vegeta glared up at his foes as they lorded above him. They wore postures of pomp and self-importance, perched upon warped scaffolding, one of many skeletons in this crumbling, decimated city. One, a Kai of ill-repute. The other, the very same creature, burrowed deep within the stolen façade of Kakarot’s skin. The smile etched across the doppelganger’s face was a distorted parody of the original owner’s benign expression, twisting it into something awful, foreign. Tainted.</p><p>Somehow, Vegeta managed to stand, debris clattering in his wake as he unfolded himself, one leg at a time, joints popping in the most painful of ways. Time and time again, he would always stand. This didn’t surprise him. He was the Prince of all Saiyans. He would rise against all odds. Irrefutably.</p><p>What did surprise him this time was that he, alone, stood up.</p><p>He worried idly at the garish split in his lower lip with his index finger, grazing over the pulpy, battered flesh with ill-concealed revulsion. Refusing to take his eyes from his opponents, he stretched out his senses, grasping for some semblance of familiar ki, trying not to recoil as his reach was assaulted by the roiling, dark energy that pervaded his senses.</p><p>He couldn’t feel Trunks.</p><p>He’d seen the life drain out of the boy’s eyes. Vegeta counted it as a personal failure. He’d been unable to intercede in time, and the boy was gone before he could so much as raise a hand in warning. The fused Zamasu’s were too much to contend with in the moment. Vegeta didn’t have time to truly register Trunks’ demise</p><p>The horrors he’d overcome in his young life, the struggle, the heartbreak of watching loved ones die over and over again… Vegeta related. He’d never admit it out loud, but he felt Trunks’ torment on a deep and personal level. And now, after all of this, it amounted to nothing. Stopped in this very moment, a bleak future in a bitch of a timeline that didn’t give a fuck, in universe that couldn’t give the kid a single break. At the very least, now he could rest.</p><p>His son deserved better.</p><p>Above him, Vegeta heard the two false gods tittering, taunting. He blocked them out for the moment. White noise.</p><p>He couldn’t feel Kakarot.</p><p>Vegeta’s gaze slipped, flicking down to the body on the ground next to him. He still expected Kakarot to rise, any second now. A gasp of air, that nervous, careless chuckle that always escaped him when he was uncomfortable, the familiar gesture of scratching idly at the nape of his neck. But he remained still, his body akimbo, grotesque and peaceful all in the same moment.</p><p>Vegeta squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the sudden wet heat that crept behind them. That bastard. Kakarot really allowed those self-proclaimed gods get one over on him. Although, admittedly, it had all happened so fast, not even Vegeta had the time to react. If he had, even just by a second, things would have ended differently. His heart clenched, heavy and leaden within his chest. He refused to believe that his rival, the only one who ever managed to be on his level, lay cold and lifeless at his feet. And not by his own hand, as he’d threatened many times before.</p><p>The reality of it struck him. His last two allies on this whole gods-forsaken planet were gone. The time machine had long since been destroyed. There wasn’t even a whisper of human ki left on the planet. And there was no chance of righting this all through magical means.</p><p>A prince of none.</p><p>Vegeta was trapped.</p><p>“Your listening skills are truly lacking, mortal.” Kakarot’s condescending tone broke Vegeta from the haze of his thoughts, as sharp and effective as a slap to the face.</p><p>
  <em>No. Not Kakarot.</em>
</p><p>Kakarot was dead.</p><p>His eyes snapped open. Black and Zamasu stood before him, clearly irritated that they were being so pointedly ignored.</p><p>“We asked you a question.” Zamasu stated, arms crossed. An elegantly groomed brow arched in expectation.</p><p>Vegeta squared off in response, reflexively stepping in front of Kakarot’s fallen form (as if that would make a difference), his battered body screaming out in protest all the while. He no longer had the reserves to power up past his base form, but he was not about to go down without a fight.</p><p>“Now now, there’s no longer a need for that, Vegeta. Relax.” Black remarked with a laugh. Vegeta bristled at the sound of his own name coming from that imposter’s lips, a low growl of loathing rumbling deep within his throat. It was the first time he could recall the cheat actually using his name. Was he doing it intentionally?</p><p>“The fight is over. You’ve lost, mortal, that fact is certain. Have you ever tried to play a game of chess with only the king in your arsenal? It doesn’t end well.” Zamasu quipped, cocking his head to the side. He and Black exchanged a knowing look, one of hungry wolves cornering their prey.</p><p>“This will be over when I say it is!” Vegeta spat, his voice hoarse. Sore, ragged, the simmering vibrations of his own voice caused him an incredible amount of pain. His esophagus was beyond raw, nerves aflame simply from drawing breath. The echoes of his own furious screams ricocheted within his mind, images of his son, of his friend being struck down before his own eyes, of Zamasu’s laughter, of Kakarot’s imposter looming above him… but he pushed that aside for now.</p><p>No use in reliving the shame of defeat.</p><p>“Don’t be obtuse. Have a look around; there’s no one left! What reason could you possibly have left to fight against us?” Laughter tinged every word that escaped Black’s lips. He held up a hand to cover his mouth, but with fingers splayed loosely to reveal a mocking smirk.</p><p>“Indeed, we’ve cleansed this planet. Destroyed your friends and your abhorrent little time machine. This is over.” Zamasu nodded, his nose wrinkling as though smelling something unpleasant.</p><p>In unison, the two of them began to slowly circle Vegeta, each taking a different path, clockwise and counter-clockwise, respectively.</p><p>A sharp retort died in Vegeta’s throat. They were right. Deep in his soul, he knew that they were. He felt his shoulders slump, but he remained on guard, head roaming when he was no longer able to keep his eyes on both opponents. He refused to cower, resolved to deny them that satisfaction to his dying breath.</p><p>“There’s a turn of phrase that come to mind for this type of situation. What is it again?” Black mused, tapping two fingers against his temple as if deep in contemplation. His top lip curled to the contrary, an indication that he’d been sitting on some sort of clever taunt for quite some time.</p><p>An ugly look to match the ugly deed of having stolen a face.</p><p>“Oh yes, I think you’ll find this to be quite apt, given the situation.” Black continued, his voice tone snide, condescending.   “I’ve heard it spun in many languages. In yours, it would be ‘If you can’t beat them, join them.’” He spread out his arms in a grand gesture, his steps were a bit too light, a bit too eager as he circled around Vegeta.</p><p>“A cowards’ adage.” Vegeta growled, his voice hoarse and low in this throat. The response was automatic, escaping him before the implications of Black’s words really had a chance to settle in.</p><p>“Is it? Have you not already engaged in such a thing with the earthlings? And, if I’m not mistaken, given the right opportunities, you would have destroyed the people of this planet a long time ago. At the very least, you are no stranger to culling those deemed… unnecessary.” Zamasu’s lilting tone ensnared Vegeta’s attention. The saiyan locked eyes with him, noting the mirth shining within Zamasu’s eyes.</p><p>Ice flooded his veins.</p><p>Were they… asking him to join their ranks?</p><p>Years of practiced detachment allowed him to maintain an expression of fixed malcontent, his stubborn refusal to allow his enemy to see his discomfort. But truly? In the midst of this massacre, with the fight already at an end, their goals achieved, they were asking him to what, to just play along? What reason could they possibly have? They’d proven their power already, why play this kind of game?</p><p>“Do not lump me in with you. That was a different life. I did what I needed to do to survive.” Vegeta snarled, his arm cutting in a decisive, dismissing arc though the air.</p><p>“Quite the hypocrite, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Zamasu chuckled darkly.</p><p>“Enough of your nonsense. If you are the all powerful gods you claim to be, why not just end it now?” Vegeta roared. He was exhausted by this farce.</p><p>A sharp bark of laughter sounded to his left, and Vegeta once again found himself pivoting, facing Black, his back exposed to Zamasu. A sinister, slow grin pulled at Black’s features, his head tilting back ever-so-slightly so he could look down his nose at the smaller man. “Your impatience is a foul thing. We have plenty of time to spare, after all.”            </p><p>“Indeed. No need to rush the inevitable.” Zamasu added with a drawn out sigh. He paused, before fixing an accusatory stare towards the saiyan. “I’ve achieved the immortality you used to covet. The option is back on the table. Aren’t you interested in such a thing anymore? I know my counterpart thinks it a cheap parlor trick, but as you could tell from our battle, it’s quite useful.”</p><p>“You can’t be serious.” Vegeta felt his jaw slacken. <em>What the fuck is happening? </em></p><p>“The bottom line, Vegeta, is that you are simply the means to an end.” Black stated, his tone rude and ruthless. “Your fusion with Son Goku proved that there is still so, so much power to draw from this body. I thought I’d achieved something truly untouchable, the pinnacle of power and beauty, but there is so much more to be had…” Black gestured to himself before stalking forward. For once, Vegeta felt himself cave, two steps back, one foot sliding before catching himself. He braced himself, fully expecting Black to attack.</p><p>An attack never came.</p><p>Instead, in one swift, dire motion, Black swooped down to grasp Kakarot… Goku’s hair, fingers twining into thick, dark locks, dragging the lifeless form upwards.</p><p>Vegeta felt warm, acrid bile rising in the back of his throat.  </p><p>“You happen to be the key to unlocking that power. Aren’t you lucky?” Black practically shouted, giving Goku’s body a good shake as he spoke, staring at Vegeta all the while. “To think, you started as merely the opening act, but you’ve been called out for an encore! You will help me surpass this <em>pathetic</em> creature in every way.” And with that, he tossed the body away.</p><p>As if he was nothing.</p><p>“This is a joke.” Vegeta said, his voice barely registering in his own ears, lost to the sound of Black’s laughter.</p><p>“He may be laughing, but I can assure you, we are quite serious, mortal.” A firm grip on his shoulder, Zamasu spun Vegeta around to face him.</p><p>
  <em>A fusion.</em>
</p><p>“Get your fucking hands off of me.” Vegeta wrenched himself away from Zamasu’s grip, his mouth contorted in a violent snarl at the touch.</p><p>They were talking about using him to <em>fuse</em>.</p><p>Pupils dilated, ears buzzing. Vegeta felt as though he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>This wasn’t a simple matter of cutting losses and allying with the triumphant side. These psychopaths actually thought that they could weaponize him, break him down and utilize the strength of his body and spirit to fortify their own.</p><p>Vegeta thought of the way he felt when he fused with Kakarot, the way his sense of self merged, aligned with another, creating something new, someone intrinsically the same, yet so wholly unique. Kakarot’s memories, his feelings, thoughts; they all became his own, and presumably vice-versa. Granted, those things faded with time post-fusion, but small fragments lingered, triggered by smells, sounds, flashbulb memories that were so markedly not his own. It connected them in the most intimate of ways, changed them. Kakarot was, in the end, someone dear.</p><p>No one else could possibly compare. No one else could ever even <em>presume</em> to share that kind of bond with him.</p><p>Now these fucking monsters come along and have the audacity to expect him to simply accept this kind of indecent proposal?</p><p>“This really is for the best. Loathe as I am to admit it, we may encounter more problematic mortals in the future. And while I do so <em>enjoy</em> the sport of it all, efficiency takes precedence above base pleasures.” Zamasu ventured in a conversational manner, as if Vegeta were a guest joining him for afternoon tea.</p><p>“It’s a matter of compatibility. Of course, <em>we</em> are compatible.” Zamasu continued, gesturing vaguely to Black over Vegeta’s shoulder.   “But we were a volatile union, at best. Idyllic in concept, but in practice? We are the same mind, the same spirit. But my body… it is not nearly as powerful, you see. It is no hindrance, by any means. But it just cannot keep up with the demands of fusion.” The Kai shrugged, shaking his head in mock dismay. “You, on the other hand, well… it’s no secret that and you and Son Goku had something unique. Black can perfect that, harness your powers in ways you could only dream of.”</p><p>Vegeta felt like a silent observer, a voyeur spying on the life of another. Surely, this conversation wasn’t happening, not to him.</p><p>Kakarot… their fusion, it brought power beyond measure. But they, as Vegito, had burned too fast, too bright, the vessel insubstantial given the raw, unfettered power that was at their disposal.</p><p>Euphoric.</p><p>There was no other way to describe it.</p><p>The thought of experiencing anything even <em>remotely</em> close to that with Black made Vegeta want to blow himself and the entire damned planet to kingdom come.</p><p>“No.” Vegeta, aghast at the very notion, could only muster the one syllable. His brain kicked into overdrive, calculating any and every possible escape. He needed to make a move, make it fast, and hope beyond all hope that he could outrun these fiends.</p><p>“Your refusal is noted.” Zamasu remarked while slowly closing his eyes, his expression a mask of neutrality. He drew his arms behind his back, a posture of austerity. A brief pause ensued, as if he were carefully considering Vegeta’s rejection. “Unfortunately, this matter was never up for debate.”</p><p>“Oh, you simple fool…” Black drawled, low and slow, savoring each syllable as one would a fine delicacy.</p><p>A mistake. A horrible mistake.</p><p>Vegeta had been so focused on his exchange with Zamasu that he’d lost track of Black. Hadn’t noticed the imposter discreetly removing a potara from his ear.</p><p>Too late.</p><p>Time slowed, but Vegeta was even slower to react. The heat of Black’s breath saturated the back of his neck. One arm snaked around Vegeta, a hand coming to rest on his collarbone, pinning the smaller man against the imposter’s chest. In the same motion, the other hand deftly affixed a potara to Vegeta’s ear, a violent pinch on the lobe as the ring clamped home.</p><p>Black’s fingers bit into Vegeta’s chest, breaking through skin and muscle, pulling him closer and closer, painfully so, until his body simply…</p><p>Collapsed.</p><p>A supernova.</p><p>Fire.</p><p>They’d never felt anything quite so exquisite, so destructive, so thoroughly boundless in its divine energy.</p><p>White hot, explosive.</p><p>Abject horror.</p><p>Godliness.</p><p>What were they called again?</p><p>
  <em>Vegito</em>
</p><p>A scream tore through their throat, a shockwave hitting the barren city, leveling the dilapidated structures like dominos, folding one, by one, by one.</p><p>Vegito crumpled to their knees, gripping at the sides of their head, tears of red-hot anger streaming recklessly down their face. They laughed, a frenetic, frantic sound, teetering between fury and madness.</p><p>Their aura flared, blinding.</p><p>Zamasu shielded his eyes in the crook of his arm against their brilliance.</p><p>They warred against themself, guttural, animalistic sounds escaping their lips. A cacophony of conflicting emotions looking for release, trying to make sense of the sheer and utter madness of their union.</p><p>
  <em>Power beyond measure, life’s greatest pleasure.</em>
</p><p>The blaze died down, and the Kai ventured a look, sensing something new, something perfect.</p><p>Slowly, tentatively, as if he would shatter at any moment, Vegito rose to his feet.</p><p>He always stood, after all.</p><p>His aura evened out, his hair settled into a delicate  shade of light pink.</p><p>“Well? How do I look?” Vegito asked, spreading his arms wide in a gesture of grandeur, turning so the Kai could see him from all angles.</p><p>“You wear him well.” Zamasu affirmed, unable to mask his pleasure.</p><p>A look of sheer delight came over Vegito’s face, a stark contradiction to the tears that still flowed freely from his eyes.</p><p>They lasted a moment.</p><p>They lasted a lifetime.</p><p>They felt apart, bodies repelled from one another.</p><p>Merciful silence.</p><p>It was the first gasp of fresh air after diving too deep underwater. But his lungs were still saturated, waterlogged. Without a conscious thought, Vegeta wrenched the potara from his ear, fist clenching around the wretched object, ready to crumble it to dust in his hands. Black was upon him before he could follow through, diving on top of him as though he could read his thoughts. Black straddled his hips, pinning him to the ground in order to wrestle the small bauble from his clenched hand with relative ease.</p><p>“Now, now, Vegeta, you mustn’t act so rash! We’ll be needing these again very soon.” Black simpered, saccharine and patronizing, his voice wavering simply from the exertion of their struggle.</p><p>Vegeta bucked against him, snarling, all teeth and sharp edges, trying to get out of beneath him, but the imposter laughed at the feeble attempt. He had no words left, only searing nerves, raw emotion, his thoughts ricocheting dangerously in his mind.  Carnal.  He was drained before their fusion, and the forced feat sapped what paltry reserves he had left.</p><p>“Be good, won’t you?” Black leaned in, so close that their noses almost touched, giving Vegeta no choice but to stare into those fathomless, demented eyes. One hand pinned Vegeta at the base of his neck, the other pinned his wrists above his head.</p><p>He froze.</p><p>Black was too close. Far too close. Vegeta felt his nerves misfiring, his brain short-circuiting. The fusion was far too fresh. He could still <em>feel</em> Black within him, his desires, his power, every idle memory. Fear, crushing doubt rampaged through him. What memories did Black see? What did he steal away from <em>him?</em></p><p>There was something else, another feeling underlying in the madness of it all.</p><p>Black smiled.</p><p>But it was different this time.</p><p>
  <em>Kakarot’s smile.</em>
</p><p>Vegeta managed to free one of his hands, reaching out.  Fingers carded through the finer hair at the nape of Black’s neck.</p><p>Had there been anything in his stomach, Vegeta would have vomited.</p><p>Their power together had been nothing short of breathtaking. He wanted to feel that power again.</p><p>The power of a God.</p><p>Intoxicating.</p><p>Black’s lips were so close.</p><p>Which memories were his own? Which feelings? If he could no longer trust his own personal narrative, then…</p><p>What did he have anymore to call his own?</p><p>“That’s right, just like that.” Black spoke softly this time, with a gentle nature. Vegeta felt something warm, something wet rolling down his face.</p><p>“This will be so much nicer for you if you just behave, you foolish little thing.” Black chided, pulling back a bit so he could affix the potara to Vegeta’s left ear, the same side as his own. The saiyan’s fingers were still gently resting around the back of his neck, Black noted with great amusement.</p><p>“This time wasn’t perfect, but we’ll get there together, of that I’m certain.” He cupped the side of Vegeta’s face, an affectionate gesture at complete odds with the vile, smug expression that spread across his face.</p><p>Before Vegeta had a moment to collect himself, to snap back to his own reality, Black’s mouth crashed into his own, tasting him thoroughly, sweetly, with the tenderness of a lover, a deep chuckle resounding in his throat all the while.</p><p>Vegeta knew he had lost.</p><p>It felt so, so very much like falling.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There have been so many wonderful fanart concepts recently of Vegito Rosé, I just had to get this idea down!  It's a little dark, a little hopeless, but extremely fun to navigate.  Kind of mushed up personalities since Bulack behaves differently between the anime and the manga, but oh well!  Let me know what you think, feedback is greatly encouraged!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Disintegrate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>blind, Unable to see, dark, hidden, obscure, sightless, aimless, gloomy, invisible, blind man, blind person, blinded, Si caecus caecum ducit, ambo in foveam cadunt, If a blind man leads a blind man both will fall into a pit, concealed, confused, dense, indiscriminate, mentally or morally blind, not discernible, not seeing, not seen, obstructing the sight, random, rash, secret, thick, unseeing, vague</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>     There’s a certain sound that comes along with panic.  A tinny, high-pitched, hollow noise.  White hot.  Crinkled radio static, sporadic, yet somehow unwavering.  Pervasive, all-encompassing, muffling all other noise.  Sure, the commotion registers, but nothing really penetrates.  Pleasant conversation, music, laughter, screams.  Dulled. All of it.  The mind hears, but it doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  Scrambling to decipher a language profoundly foreign.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Incoherent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Kakarot asked a question, fingers knuckled loosely against his chin in anticipation of a response.  A smile.  Inquisitive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta felt the words, but he didn’t really hear them.  He stared at that hand.  Kakarot’s hand.  Tracing light, near imperceptible scars, dark eyes trailing gratefully over the familiar constellations etched across weather-worn skin.  One joint rested just under the space where his bottom lip swelled, rubbing idly in thought.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Soft hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Familiar, but not authentic.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Far too soft for Kakarot.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He wanted to feel them, just in case.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Fingers snapped in front of his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta’s heart stuttered back to life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Sound rushed back.  Crystalline, painful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “There you are, mortal.”  Zamasu huffed, tone dripping with disappointment.  His hand hovered in Vegeta’s line of sight, obscuring Kakarot.  “You lost him again, Black.”   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Black. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black’s face came swimming into view.  Vegeta swore, stumbling back a few paces.  Footing lost, falling unceremoniously to the ground, backend smarting.  Searing pain compounded upon impact, clawing aches and injuries rising as the fog on his mind lifted. Battered, torn, beyond exhausted.  Stretched thin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Never in his life had he ever felt so thoroughly used up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta placed a hand over his mouth, staring numbly at the debris and detritus on the forest floor, loamy and green with newly-sprouted life.  The forest?  How?  When the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he leave the crumbling bones of the city?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     His breath evened out, despite his heart’s desire to burst from the cage of his ribs.  He couldn’t remember how he got here.  Where were the others?  Why were the oppressive ki signatures of his enemies the only thing he could register?  Even his own ki eluded him, pitiful embers in place of a raging fire.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Perhaps if you didn’t insist on snapping him out of it each time, I’d be making more progress.”  Black droned, displeasure at a steady simmer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Perhaps</span>
  </em>
  <span> you aren’t as good of an actor as you claim?  I’m merely testing the bond, the feeble thing.  You must temper it to be unbreakable.  He’s too troublesome otherwise, running off at every opportunity like this.”  Cold and calculating, but patience clearly wearing thin, Zamasu admonished his other self.  A noise of aggression sounded low and deep within Black’s throat in response.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Good.  The more they bickered, the less they paid attention to him. Vegeta tentatively braced himself, the movement subtle and small.  Body filled with tension, hoping beyond all hope that the two false gods would be so wrapped up in themselves that he could make a break for it.  A small chance, but a potential chance, nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Take a step back.  Analyze.  Adapt.  Survive.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Ah.  That’s right, he was stuck here.  Stuck in a future timeline, alone with these monsters.  It came back slowly, hitting him in waves.  Detached acceptance washed over him, a failsafe he’d perfected in his youth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     It had been days.  Weeks?  Perhaps...  But these moments were vital, desperately so.  Even a scant minute to catch his thoughts, to align himself to this reality, to the </span>
  <em>
    <span>now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> was enough to keep him sane.  Feet on the ground.  Focused. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Dirt brushing his palms through the holes in his gloves.  A house in the distance.  Dappled, mid-day light filtering through the trees.  Gnawing hunger.  Pine and mossy earth.  The murmur of a nearby creek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     These things were real.  He was real. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Reality is a fucking nightmare.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Impotent rage bubbled within his core, superseding the mask of calm, contorting his face into an ugly scowl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Go get your pet before he slips away.”  Zamasu chided, scoffing a bit as Black waved him off with a dismissive gesture.  The two of them seemed irritated with one another, which gave Vegeta pause.  They seemed to switch endlessly between praising each other’s brilliance in one moment, and admonishing each other the next. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Interesting.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><span>     Vegeta snarled wordlessly as Black approached.  He reached deep within himself, stretching for the last vestiges of his strength.   His aura stuttered to life in wretched bursts of strained, flickering gold, puttering pathetically out before it could bloom fully to Super Saiyan. Without intending to, he slumped forward, head coming to rest against his knees as he tried to catch his breath.</span> <span>No blood to be drawn from a stone.  Exhaustion flooded him tenfold.</span></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     How many times have we fused?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Those monsters gave no quarter, spared no mercy.  They made Vegeta their little project, and he felt himself slipping more and more.  Every fusion forced, stripping him bare within, pushing limits he didn’t even realize he had.  Black drew more and more memories from him each time.  He couldn’t even remember how he’d fucking gotten here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     So spent from it all that he could barely do more than grit his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Vegeta.  Look at me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Kakarot’s voice, gentle yet commanding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta ached with longing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Get away from me, you vile creature.”  The saiyan prince screwed his eyes shut, shouting in abject frustration, hands covering his ears, willing away the poison of Black’s voice.  He couldn’t do this for much longer.  His body was betraying him as much as his mind.  Drained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I see that we’re feeling more agreeable today.”  Black taunted, unable to school the amusement from his tone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Go fuck yourself.”  Vegeta rasped, raising his head.  He started Black down with haughty defiance.  A small resistance, but the best he could muster.  He wanted nothing more than to rip out the false Saiyan’s throat, to pull the spirit of Zamasu out from within that stolen husk, render the entire body to ash.  Given the opportunity, the slightest drop in his guard…. Vengeance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Ah, how unbecoming.  Shall we start our little game over, then?”  Black’s lips curled back, revealing sharp, white teeth.  Behind him, Zamasu laughed.  A quiet, mocking thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     A game.  That’s all it was to them.  Just a little puzzle to figure out, all the while recklessly scouring Vegeta’s mind, invading him in order to gather each tiny, delicate piece.   Every detail meticulously sorted and filed away, an arsenal of information waiting to be unleashed against him.  A weaponized onslaught of the deepest parts of himself, leaving him to desperately parse out his reality.  Grappling with feelings he never had a chance to contend with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black extended a hand to the fallen warrior, palm up.  A warm smile.  Vegeta drifted, his eyes glazing over as he recounted the times Kakarot offered a similar hand in anticipation of using that terribly useful instant transmission.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Come on, Vegeta, take my hand.  Let’s get out of here.”  Gentle.  There’s always been a soft ease with Kakarot.  Sunlight and simplicity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta ached, suppressing a pitiful noise within his throat.  Something about this was wrong.  But Kakarot was right </span>
  <em>
    <span>there.</span>
  </em>
  <span>  They could go home, leave this wretched place, forget the aches and horrors of this dead timeline.  He lifted his hand, unsteady, hovering in hesitation.  Gloves marred and torn beyond reasonable repair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     He will not take you from this place.  No one can anymore.  Kakarot is dead.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The object of his affections died at his feet before he’d had a chance to tell him, and that was all of the ammunition Black needed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta handed him the bullets.  He loaded the fucking chamber for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     But that didn’t mean he had to quietly accept this fate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta smacked the offered hand away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He was met with laughter, both light and mocking.  He retched at the sound, tone discordant to his ears.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You still resist, even after all we’ve been through together?”  Black simpered, his expression growing dark, distorting out of the gentle mask he’d donned moments before.  He crouched down before Vegeta, resting idly on his haunches as he considered the fallen man.  “Ever the glutton for punishment.  Aren’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black surged forward, strong hands threading unkindly around Vegeta’s throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “How many times have I feasted on you?  How much longer until I swallow you whole, hmm?”  Black straddled Vegeta’s hips, his knees anchored on either side, pinning him in place. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta’s hands flew up to grip around Black’s wrists.  A small resistance that made the false Saiyan chuckle and tighten his grip.  Nose to nose, Black’s eyes the only thing in his line of sight.  Dark, recondite eyes, cold and knowing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Rejoice, Prince Vegeta.”  Black closed the gap, leaning in so he spoke softly into Vegeta’s ear.  “You’ve the privilege of merging with a perfect being.  You should feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>honored</span>
  </em>
  <span> that you’ve garnered my attention and affections.”  Black punctuated his pleasure by nipping at the lobe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta couldn’t move.  The hands around his throat squeezed.  Delicious pressure.  Breath halted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He had to escape.  He couldn’t do this again.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black’s lips covered his own, a chaste kiss at odds with the violence of the stranglehold on his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “In return, I wish to give you what you’ve always desired most.  You’ve been so pliant, so forthcoming with your yearnings when we are one.  Why keep up the charade of resistance?” Black’s words spoken against his lips.  Kakarot’s tone. Dissenting.  Maddening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Liar! I’d rather die.”  Vegeta choked out.  He was losing his grip, vision edging away from lack of oxygen.  Maybe this would be it, maybe Black would kill him this time.  Small hopes.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “That is no longer an option for you, my Vegeta.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The air rushed back to his lungs, his body lurching in relief.  A small, temporary respite, shattered as Black deftly fastened the portara to Vegeta’s ear, the searing snap of the earing nauseatingly familiar.  Vegeta’s eyes blew out wide in fear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
  <span>A jolt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     A furious, futile yell of resistance.  Light came pouring out.  Vegeta tried to push Black away, only for the flesh of Black’s chest to yield beneath his palms as he collapsed into the other man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     They crumpled together into one in a brilliant flash.  The fused being rested on their hands and knees, staring at the ground.  Uneasy laughter bubbled from their core, spilling from their mouth in stilted measure. Their merger no longer yielded the same cataclysmic fallout as the first handful of times, but it still took a moment or two for them to reconcile.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     They settled.  He stood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Light eyes flashed, sharp and glowing as his head quested around looking for something.  Someone.  Trying to piece together his beginnings and endings, his reason for being.  So much </span>
  <em>
    <span>power.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>He simply burned with the stuff. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Gloved hands ran absently through spiked hair, aura settling to a pleasant pink hue.  A desperate laugh escaped him, but was quickly quelled before it could build and linger. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Well well, no tears this time, Vegito?  I’m surprised.”  Zamasu closed in, snapping Vegito to attention.   He circled the fused being, delicate fingers reaching out to survey every available inch of him.  Feather-light touches on the shoulder, forearm, waist, collarbone.  The kai smirked at the slight tremors cascading through the fused being in the wake of his touch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “What’s there to be surprised about?”  Vegito arched a brow, surveying the kai with a bemused expression.  His head was a warzone, but he could drown out the din when conversing with Zamasu.  Gave him focus.  Purpose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Progress.”  Zamasu replied, a bit put off by Vegito’s curious response.  It seemed that Vegeta’s personality was shining through a bit more firmly this time, which gave him pause.   “I was beginning to think this was a fruitless endeavor.  Let’s see if you can actually maintain it this time around.  Gods, but you are perfect like this.”  Zamasu halted in front of the man, the last line uttered in lilting admiration.  He gently cradled Vegito’s face in his palms.  A low rumble of laughter sounded in Vegito’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “You favor me.”  Vegito noted with smug satisfaction, absentminded laughter lacing his words.  Zamasu’s attention both pleased and revolted him beyond measure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “I’m merely doling out praise where it is due.  You are exquisite.  A perfect weapon for my plans.”  His thumbs traced lazy, soothing lines over the fused being’s cheeks.  Light, hazy eyes fluttered closed at the ministrations.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Quite suddenly, Vegito stiffened and drew away from Zamasu’s touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Quiet now, Zamasu.  As much as I adore being extolled for my perfection…”  The thought trailed off, Vegito’s gaze grew distant, brow knotted in confusion.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “We must still be patient.”  Zamasu concluded, disappointed.  He watched Vegito with measured apprehension, wondering if the man would actually be able to sustain the form for the full duration of the fusion, or if they would jettison apart prematurely as they had so many times before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Dark, electric ki flickered and flared all around Vegito, cascading over his body in violent succession. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Something wasn’t right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He wanted to exist, wanted to breathe and speak and live longer than he’d been allowed before.  But there was this uncanny </span>
  <em>
    <span>resistance</span>
  </em>
  <span> within him, this nattering voice screaming that this was all wrong. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He needed to snuff out that voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegito sank to his knees, a smooth, fluid motion.  With a measure of grace and poise he relaxed, entering into a meditative state.  Soft words of encouragement from Zamasu ringing in his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Yes, he deserved this.  This power, this form.  Godliness.  He would do whatever it took to keep it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>---</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>     A yawning, smoky white expanse lined with broken doors.  Splintered, shattered.  Battered open with violent intent.  Flashbulb memories spilled out onto the floor, deafening in their beauty.  Painful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Nothing left to the imagination.  No more secrets.  No more defenses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta’s mind was his playground to explore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black walked along without a care, crushing useless memories underfoot.  Vegeta didn’t need those anymore.  Better to stamp out those pleasant family ties, those soft, quiet evenings, secretive points of bliss. Every so often, he would pause to pluck a morsel out from the undulating riptide of visions, rolling it into a neat little ball before popping it into his mouth, savoring the flavor, cataloging what was useful for later.   Observing moments of torment, weaknesses, those sharp little cuts that hacked away at Vegeta’s soul.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Absorbing little desires, freely given. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Ripe for the taking.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black hummed a light, aimless tune, delighting in the cacophony of memories.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     He found Vegeta at what could be considered the edge of this place.  The Saiyan Prince stood naked, shoulders squared, rigid and proud, whole and unbroken.  A stark contrast to the ruined and battered man he’d been reduced down to in reality.  He was beautiful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Behind him, a final door.  Dark-stained wood.  Unassuming, sturdy.  Ominous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Upon seeing Black approach, Vegeta turned, open palms coming to rest flush against the door.   Trying to figure out how to get in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black smirked, haughty and self-satisfied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “This one is yours.”  Vegeta stated without preamble.  Black sidled up next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Perhaps.”  Black placed two fingers delicately under Vegeta’s chin, guiding his face away from the door.  “But what makes you so sure?  You’ve said that with countless others.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “There are no other doors left.  This one has to be yours.  Whatever’s behind here, I’ll use it to kill you.”  Determination.  Vegeta’s resolve made something in Black’s chest tighten.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     The beautiful fool</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     The two stared at each other in silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     A battle of wills.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black chuckled.  Vegeta’s stubbornness had become quite endearing to him.  Every struggle the man put forth was simply a delight.  It made conquering him all the more satisfying.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Are you certain you want to look?  You might not like what you see.”  Black mused, relishing in the tumult of conflicting emotions he could see running behind Vegeta’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta drew in a steady breath, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed down a response.  A slight nod was all he could muster.  This was the only way out.  It had to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black laughed outright then, leaning in to steal a kiss from the smaller man, lingering so as to get a fuller taste of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Who was he to deny his mortal from taking a look? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black shattered the door, dark splinters careening out forcefully in all directions.  It was all part of the theater of it, after all.  Let Vegeta think there was some hope of finding a way out.  Let him try to find some kind of useful information here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Twisted images flickered to life before them.  Kakarot’s smiling face, scratching the back of his head in quiet embarrassment.  Overlooking the other Saiyan from atop a dusty plateau.  A shared meal.  Sparring.  Kakarot bloodied and restrained against a cliff face, Vegeta’s resolute laughter sounding in his own ears.  A warm day on the beach, Kakarot playing with the children, carefree and glowing.  A hand extended, the urgency to teleport away overwhelming.  Slumping together after taking down another faceless enemy.  Gentle, warm pressure as Kakarot carried him from the battlefield.  A quiet glance, sunlight smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>-“I feel like I should be apologizing to you, Kakarot.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No need for that.  I loved every minute of it.”-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>     They’d truly been to hell and back together.  Kakarot always came back.  There was never a worry in that.  He always found a way to return, stubbornly reliable in that way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     But this was different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Black’s hands came to rest on Vegeta’s shoulders, heavy and oppressive, trapping the man as he took in the onslaught of images.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     This was Black’s door.  He had been so sure of it.  But then why… why was it full of Vegeta’s memories?  Why did his heart feel so heavy?  There was something important here, something he should be seeking out. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Files pulled, history skewed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Nothing but heartache stood before him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Kakarot…”  Vegeta was drowning.  He knew he should be trying harder, trying to surface, to get a goddamned breath of air, but he couldn’t.  He just couldn’t muster the strength to rise.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “This is what you wanted to see.”  Black whispered, nuzzling his face into the back of Vegeta’s neck, drinking in the smaller man’s torment and turmoil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Kakarot’s voice sounded warped and heavy in his ears. Tears began to flow down Vegeta’s face, distorting his vision, perceptions fractured, crystalline pieces, floating and scattered as memories of Kakarot flowed too quickly, too freely, merging together one after another after another. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Stuttering to a stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Kakarot dead and broken at his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Don’t worry about that.  This does not have to be your reality, not anymore.  I can give you what you want.”  Black breathed, arms encircling Vegeta from behind, anchoring the smaller man to his chest, huffing into the crook of his shoulder, relishing in the heady scent of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Hopeless.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta let himself be held.  He closed his eyes, but Kakarot’s voice echoed within him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “Vegeta, is it not easier to play pretend?  Why won’t you let yourself be happy for once?”  Gentle hands stroked soothing rhythms against the prince’s skin.   Soft, pacifying kisses peppered along tender flesh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     Vegeta thought about running.  But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, he couldn’t help but to wonder why.  He eased into Kakarot’s embrace, enjoying the warm promises and security it implied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>     “What a pleasant little fiction this is.”  Black soothed.  To his surprise, Vegeta hummed out in agreement, tilting his head back, a faraway look of mild complacency gracing his features. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>     Progress.  </span>
  </em>
  <span>Black smiled, a soft smile, Kakarot’s smile. A small reward, sure to the first of many for his Vegeta.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Super huge special thanks to Fleuraison7 for the close read of this chapter!  Your insight and feedback was invaluable in all of this, and I'm so delighted that you took the time to read through this hopeless mess of a tragedy and apply meaning to it &lt;3  This was an emotional piece to navigate, a rambling level of nonsense words just expelled from my brains, and your stunning feedback imbued me with the confidence to share it!  And the title inspiration is just!!! Wonderful, thank you for everything!  You da best!!!  </p>
<p>:') expect a part three in the future!  Comments and feedback are always appreciated, thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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